Love
|
According to the Encarta Dictionary, love is an intense feeling of tender affection and compassion; a passionate feeling or romantic desire and sexual attraction. Erich Fromm made these comments:
Immature love says: I love you because I need you.' Mature love says 'I need you because I love you.'
In love the paradox occurs that two beings become one and yet remain two.
Love is union with somebody, or something, outside oneself, under the condition of retaining the separateness and integrity of one's own self.
In the classic book, The Art of Loving, Erich Fromm writes that "To be loved, and to love, need courage, the courage to judge certain values as of ultimate concern-and to take the jump and stake everything on these values."
In Forrest Gump, the movie, Forrest expresses this in the famous line, "Jenny, I may be stupid, but I know what love is."
So what is love?
In my mind, love is a marriage union between souls. It is profound positive feelings actualized in affectionate behaviors toward the love object. Note the Bible passage on love, 1 Corinthians 13.
If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
Though discussing love, this scriptural pericope does not refer to feelings or emotions. Instead, it talks about attitudes, such as patience, and actions, such as not boasting. It describes the result of love. When you love, you are inspired to behave in certain caring ways. For example, if you love your partner, you will be motivated to do everything possible to promote his or her well being. If he or she is unusually weary some night, out of love, you may volunteer to perform a duty that he or she would otherwise be responsible for.
For all intent and purposes, there are three forms of love. The first is the Greek Eros and is used to designate erotic, romantic, physical love. It can be one of the peak pleasures in human experience if not abused and misused.
The Greeks also has a second definition of love, and that is Philia which is where the word philanthropy is derived. Philia means brotherly love. We all know Philadelphia as the city of brotherly love. Philia does not contain romantic love. Philia is the love you and I have for our parents, siblings, friends, family members, and so forth. It does not contain Eros.
The third definition of love is called Agape. Agape means unconditional love for someone. It means loving someone without expecting love in return. Parents can relate to this, especially a mother. Perhaps this may be a difficult concept to comprehend in today's society because this type of love requires sacrifice and selflessness.
Agape is different from both Eros and Philia in that inherent in agape love is an overflowing altruism that seeks nothing in return. The end of agape is not the well-being of the self, but the well-being of the other. It is the type of love that characterized the non-violent philosophies of Martin Luther King, Jr. and Mahatma Gandhi.
In my experience, the one common mistake that many couples make is equating "true" love with Eros love only. Real love, I believe, requires all three types of love. Far too many relationships today are based on one type of love. If your relationship fails to include all three types of love, you may be mixing a recipe for disaster. When the first few years are past, one or two children have entered the scene, daily living becomes more difficult (and believe me, it will); and Eros love loses a little bit of its spice, most people bail out of relationships. So I hope you can appreciate the value of applying all three types of love in your relationship and marriage.
Eros love is essential to every relationship; philia love is equally important, and of course, agape love binds all three.
Rev. Saundra L. Washington, D.D., is an ordained clergywoman, veteran social worker, and Founder of AMEN Ministries. She is also the author of two coffee table books: Room Beneath the Snow: Poems that Preach and Negative Disturbances: Homilies that Teach which can be reviewed on her site. Her new book, Out of Deep Waters: My Grief Management Workbook, is expected to be available soon.
You are welcome to visit AMEN Ministries: Your Soul's Service Station for spiritual refreshing, soul edification or to browse our newly expanded mini shopping mall.
Blessings to all!
|
|
|
Divorce Rate Plummets As More Americans Shack Up Instead Of Getting Married
More Americans are taking "til death do us part" seriously. According to the recently released Rutgers University National Marriage Project the number of divorces is declining. But the lower divorce rate is largely because couples are postponing, choosing not to, or are legally unable to get married. Like Oprah Winfrey and Stedman Graham, and Elton John and David Furnish, these 11 million unmarried couples are in committed relationships and sharing financial obligations, but aren't entitled to the 1,140 federal laws that apply to married couples."Although unmarried couples don't receive federal protection li...(related: Marriage Wedding)
What You Should Know About Buying Engagement Rings Online
Buying engagement rings online doesn't have to be confusing or intimidating. In fact, the nice thing about shopping online is that you can browse several online stores without the hassle of traveling from store to store l...(related: Marriage Wedding)
Wedding Music
What should you "walk down the aisle" to? Should you stick with the traditional Wedding March or should you shock your grannie with "Bat out of Hell"?Well maybe Bat out of Hell is totally inappropriate but do you have to stick with tradition? I would say not if you dont want to. There are so many wonderfully romantic and very suitable songs available today.A friend of mine walked in to Ronan Keating singing The Touch of your Hand and the words fitted perfectly with how she felt about her new hubby.A less traditional song to arrive by was The Timewarp. Not sure of any special significance there but it was what suited the bride well and so she had it...(related: Marriage Wedding)
What Has Worked For Us (brief Reflections On Enjoying 36 Years Of Marriage)
WHAT HAS WORKED FOR USBrief Reflections On Enjoying 36 Years Of Marriage© Lee Wise All rights reservedFor some reason or another I had a passing thought today. Iwas reflecting on our marriag...(related: Marriage Wedding)
Six Ways To Decorate Your Wedding Arch
Sometimes a wedding arch is a no-brainer way to spruce up your ceremony site. No-brainer, at least, until you actually have one in your hands and ready to decorate. Then it gets a little more complicated.Thinking back to prom, you might recall something vaguely gauzy, but that doesn't give you much to go on when you have that bare-looking eight foot metal structure in your living room. Plus, maybe you want an arch that doesn't look like prom at all -- and personalization is what's going to make your wedding tick. Here are some ways to give that arch a touch of your wedding's unique flavor.The Balloon Arch: Don't forget this dramatic, pearly alternative to the wood or metal arch. A determined bride (or family member) can definitely do this herself; helium isn't even required if you use P...(related: Marriage Wedding)
Indian Astrology And Marriages
Astrology is considered to be the oldest of all sciences, which studies the effects of the planetary positions and movements on our lives. Indian Astrology is an integral aspect of the Vedic literature (Vedic Astrology) and was practice...(related: Marriage Wedding)
Inside Secrets On How To Stay In Love
My husband Bill and I have just had our 37th-wedding anniversary and our love is deeper today than when we got married. Whether you are in a relationship or looking for a ...(related: Marriage Wedding)
Wedding Dresses - How To Buy Dreamy Wedding Gowns Online
Wedding dresses are literally the icing on the cake on every bride's wedding day. You can find perfect wedding gowns online, or simply brainstorm which style of wedding dresses to start looking for as you narrow down your search.First you need to determine which types of wedding dresses are right for you.Your wedding dress should tell the world exactly who you are. After all, this is YOUR day, and your wedding gown is the key way that you share yourself with your wedding guests - and, of...(related: Marriage Wedding)
Creating A Wedding Budget You Can Afford
The most important part of planning a wedding is setting your budget. Your budget is important because it is next to impossible to know what you can afford for each major part of the wedding if you don't set an overall cost that is comfortable for you. You will probably find that deciding the budget is...(related: Marriage Wedding)
Wedding Planning
Depending on your personal preferences and the preferences of your husband or wife-to-be, a wedding can take anywhere from 6 weeks to 2 years to plan. If one step in the planning process is missed, the whole wedding could be ruined. To prevent this from happening, we have created a wedding checklist in order to ensure everything goes according to plan on your big day.7-12 Months Prior
- Announce Engagement and...(related: Marriage Wedding)
Restore Your Marriage - 5 Ways To Feel Connected To Your Spouse Even On Opposite Schedules
We've all been through times in our lives when it was so busy we would rarely have time to ourselves let alone time to contact our family and friends. With every day life moving as quickly as it is, there just seems to be no time to do everything in one day and get a decent amount of sleep so you can do it all over again the next day. It's no wonder why it's so hard these days for a married couple to share a strong relationship. If you feel your marriage is lacking, check out the following advice to improve or even save your marriage!1. Call them. Yes, this sounds simple and it is! Whether you initiate the phone call or are returning one, it is all based on...(related: Marriage Wedding)
site-map - Copyright © 2007 | Contact Webmaster | All Rights Reserved | Free Articles and Information | Marriage Wedding