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Hi there, how's it going? I'm the Wisecrackin' Guru. Yes, that's
me, the internet marketing extraordinaire that you've all heard
about, and I'm here to help you, with the best money making tip
you'll ever learn. Hey, I'm rich and you're not, but don't
worry, I'll still talk to you. Even though I'm way too important
to do anything like that. But I'm feeling generous today so I'll
give you the glorious gift of one minute of my precious time.
But please- try to keep drooling to a minimum.
You might think I'm an obnoxious jerk, but you'll get over it. I
prefer to think of myself as lovable and adorable and here to
help you. I tell it like it is- you want to hear the truth
right? Right! And in this article I'm gonna reveal to you a
great truth that ALL rich people have in common. And once you
know and apply this great truth, then YOU too will know what it
takes to make money and get rich.
So who the heck am I? I'm the guy whose ferrari you see taking
up two parking spots and you think to yourself "You bastard!"
And you know what- you're absolutely right. But I couldn't care
less cause I'm filthy rich. You've probably heard of my cousin
the Rich Jerk. Yes, that's him- the famous millionaire maker.
He's so smart that he's got his own fan club. I know, I know
what you're thinking- you're thinking "What a brilliant gene
pool". Well, if you insist.
So how's it going anyway? How's life been treating ya? Yes I
know- life's tough I hear you moan. It's getting harder and
harder to make ends meet on the pathetic 20 bucks an hour your
miserable employer pays you. Life's not fair right? Well of
course life's fair! If you want to be rich then you have to
actually do something to make it happen! Yes that's right my
friend! How ya gonna make more money if your bum is permanently
welded to the couch? You have to unmould your bum off the couch,
you can do it! Yes, grab a crow bar and prise it off slowly, and
listen up cause I've got something to tell ya.
Like they say- the greatest journey ever made started out with a
single step, and the first step you can make is away from the TV
and the six- pack, at least for a minute while I tell you
something. I tell it like it is. I cut through the bullcrap.
Sure I might offend you, but you'll get over it. You might think
I'm rude and obnoxious and once again you're absolutely right!
But I don't care cause I'm filthy rich. And whether you like it
or not you want to be filthy rich too like me or else you
wouldn't be reading this now. So let me tell you this fact- you
can never get filthy rich just earning 20 bucks an hour, or
whatever pathetic amount your employer pays you. You have to
take ACTION and do something extra if you want to make more
money and be rich. And that my friend is part one of THE great
truth that you must know. All successful people take action-
they don't just sit around and wait for something to happen.
But there's one more part to this secret that most people never
find out. And here it is: If you're gonna take action, then you
have to make sure it's the right kind of action. That's right-
if you want to get rich then the action you take must be geared
towards making you rich. I mean, getting up at 6.00am every
morning and killing yourself to get ready and drive to work is
action, but it sure as heck ain't the kind of action that's
gonna make you rich.
If you wanna take the right kind of action that's gonna make you
rich then there's only one way to do it and this is it: only
take advice off people who are already successful! And nobody
else! Sounds simple when you put it like that huh? But most
people spend their whole lives doing the exact opposite. Most
people spend their lives taking crappy advice off losers.
And that my friend is the golden secret that most people never
"get". Sure, Fred your next door neighbour might think he's an
expert in the sharemarket and try to dish out his money making
tips to you. But is he rich? No! And what about your great Aunt
Mildred who constantly lectures you about what kind of job you
should have if you want to make more money. Is she rich? No! And
what about your boss at work who spends all day telling you how
hopeless you are. Is he rich? No! So why should you take advice
off them?
The best retort you can give all these big mouth
so-called-experts is simply this: "If you're so smart, why ain't
YOU rich?" It works every time! Just try it and see how quickly
they vanish! "But I've got a good job" I hear you wail!. Sure
you've got a good job, but that miserable 20 bucks an hour isn't
gonna last forever you know. Sooner or later you're gonna need
more money just to survive, and then what are you gonna do? Sell
your false teeth? And anyway, do you really want to spend the
rest of your life being bossed around and abused by some bastard
20 year old boss? I mean, most of the miserable bosses out there
have got the kinds of personalities that light up a room- when
they walk out!
And watch out if you make a mistake! They'll whip you till ya
light and fluffy. Personally, I couldn't care less- I'm already
filthy rich- you're the one who's gonna be a miserable 60 year
old employee one day, with a whinging 20 year old boss telling
you what to do. Unless you decide to take some action!
You know that facts show that if you are only an employee
working for an hourly wage, you have less than a 1% chance of
retiring rich. I don't know about you but I don't like those
odds one bit. You wouldn't even bet on a horse race with those
odds. I mean, if a bookie offered you those odds on a horse race
you'd tell him to get stuffed right? So why would you want to
gamble your whole future with those same odds? Sheesh!
And even if you are one of those people who actually likes going
to work for the social life, at least when you're filthy rich
you can tell your boss to get stuffed with an extra ring of
confidence. It's a beautiful thing to see.
But hey, I'm not a total snob. I've even got a few friends
myself who work for an hourly wage, sure I do. One of them came
out for a drink with me recently. He's still paying it off.
Hey, I know that some people think that work can be a great
institution- but I'm not ready for an institution.
I mean, you could always go to university or college where they
give you books about how to make money and get rich. These books
should not be tossed aside lightly. They should be thrown with
great force. Their authors never made a dime anyway. I mean-
have you ever seen a university professor rocking up to work in
a ferrari? Didn't think so. And anyway- if textbooks made you
rich then librarians would all be millionaires. Ever seen a
millionaire librarian? Didn't think so.
Like I said, the authors of those textbooks never made a dime in
the real world anyway- only in their textbook fantasies. I mean,
if you're gonna take financial advice from somebody, then at
least make sure it's from somebody who's actually making money
in the real world. Duh!
And how much harder it is if you have kids! Yes, those adorable
darling whining little money munchers can clean out your bank
account in no time! I mean, don't get me wrong, I've got nothing
against kids- in fact a lot of good friends of mine used to be
kids. It's just that if you've got some you might as well cut a
hole in the bottom of your purse or wallet and carry it around
like that, just to get into practise.
But enough about me. Let's talk about you. What do you think of
me? Yes, I know, I know- you think I'm lovable and adorable.
It's only natural that you feel that way. In fact, I'm so
important that I can't even believe that I'm sitting here
talking to you right now.
Like I said, I couldn't care less if you think I'm obnoxious. I
like it that way. At least that way you'll stay away from me if
you ever see me in the street. I'm way too important to care
anyway. I mean don't get me wrong, I love humanity- it's just
the people I can't stand.
Anyway, stop ya whining. Being filthy rich can have its
drawbacks too you know. Like when you tell them to paint your
porsche medium salmon, and they do it orange instead. Sheesh!
And you thought you had problems! Or when your pet cheetah eats
too much caviar, and then gets an upset stomach and passes wind
for three days. Now that's a problem! Sheesh! And you thought
you had problems trying to earn a living.
So what are you gonna do? Are you gonna sit there and be
miserable, or are you gonna take action? You can ignore this
article and keep working hard for the rest of your life for a
miserable 20 bucks an hour, or whatever pathetic amount you
make, and when you're sick of it, you'll be back. Or else you
can take action and start taking steps right now to improve your
financial situation.And that, my friend is the secret to riches-
you can put it off, or you can take action right now to improve
your life. The choice is yours!
Good luck to you! from The Wisecrackin' Guru
Ps- Whatever you decide, I'll be down by the pool sipping
cocktails.
About the author:
Hey, I'm way too important to sit here and write out a resource
box, so I'll make it short. If you want to stop being a pathetic
loser and start making money then come to
http://www.makeprofit.com.au and find out how. Personally, I
couldn't care less whether you do or not. I'm not about to beg
you to come to my website. I'm already filthy rich- you're the
one with the problem.
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